Short answer – avoid ejaculating. Yep, you heard that correctly. I am a 23 year old guy and I try my hardest not to ejaculate. I don’t avoid sex – quite the opposite. I have plenty of sex and I often orgasm. But ejaculation and me are not friends and probably never will be and I have a very good reason for it.
WHY WOULD A PERSON AVOID EJACULATING?
Every time you ejaculate, you loose roughly 100 million sperm cells. 100 million. Each time. 100,000,000 sprinkles of life that your body had to go through the trouble of making. Let’s say you ejaculate 10 times in 2 weeks. How much is that? 1 billion! 1,000,000,000. If you went through the work to make 1,000,000,000 of anything would you splash it away like pour old wine down the sink? Probably not. But oh wait. You do. You do all the time. And your body is paying for it.
Yes, you are made of trillions of cells and your body can replenish them. But these cells are special. Why? Now we have to venture into meta-science. They cells are bursting with life energy. Every one of these cells is charged with the oomf to start a new human! And where does it come from? It comes from you. But it comes from a part of you that can’t be replenished.
Let’s Go Back in Time
What? Science didn’t tell us about that. Well yes. That’s because science hasn’t figured out how to study life energy so they discard it. But ancient Chinese and Indian medicine – both of which have been around for over 5000 years (take a second to wrap your mind around how long that is compared to the few hundred years “modern” science has been around). And both Chinese and Indian science independently arrived at the discovery of this unreplenishable life energy. The Chinese call it jing and the Indian’s call it ojas.
Now if you are knowledgable about basic Chinese or Indian medicine, you might be saying. No, the Chinese word for life energy is chi and the Indian word is prana. You are right. Those are real and important and you should work with those. But those are the replenishable ones. If you look deeper, you find the second type of life energy – jing and ojas. They are talking about the same thing, but for the sake of this article I am going to just use ojas.
What Happens When You Waste Your Ojas?
In short, you die – as quickly as you use it. Gray hair. Wrinkles. Achy bones. Fatigue. Pretty much everything that happens as the human body falls apart is sped up when you use your ojas. Every time you ejaculate, you are tipping that glass of life and spilling unnecessary ojas. By the way, you are doing the same thing big time when you use drugs and there is a whole article about spilling ojas with weed right here.
I know this sounds like a buzz kill. The idea of ejaculating being healthy was taught to most of us and it makes us feel care free and fit spanking away. But not ejaculating is perhaps the best thing you can do to improve enjoying your sexuality. Prepare to have your mind blown.
What Happens If You Don’t Ejaculate?
In short, you live. You live fabulously because you have more energy than you ever thought possible. Instead of pumping out your life juice, your body recycles it, making you more vibrant, more motivated, and more alive. And you know how after you have sex, you don’t feel like having sex for a few hours to a few days depending on your age? No more. If you stop ejaculating, you will be able to keep your sexual activity going until you are literally just too sore to continue. And after that happens, you’ll probably find yourself wanting to tackle the projects you’ve been procrastinating. You’ll have a heart full of love for the person you shared your sexuality with (perhaps that’s just you alone but self-love is also important) rather than wanting to eat cold pizza and PTFO. When you don’t explode your life energy out, you keep it in. That surge of energy is yours to keep! And you can do anything with it.
A Quick Note on Spirituality
Most spiritual paths are ascetic. That means the followers are supposed to avoid pleasurable things – namely sex. If you’ve heard about “vows of chastity,” that is what it is talking about. The reason for this is because it is hard to access higher states of consciousness when you are splashing out your ojas. That’s how important the ojas are! Serious spiritual progress is practically impossible without them. Well some wonderful yogis realized that you can have sex without losing ojas and instead transform sexual energy into something higher and more spiritual and that is the tantric path, which is what we have to thank for all of the wisdom about keeping our ojas while getting to (really) enjoy sex.
WHAT IS SEX LIKE SANS EJACULATION?
Well the whole having sex without ejaculating this probably sounds sort of crazy, right? What’s the point? The point, my friends, is (scratch that – “can be”) orgasm. Please read this shit 20 times until it is firmly imprinted in your consciousness because the ignorance of this fact is has kept us wasting the most important resource and consequentially our human potential throughout recorded history:
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EJACULATE TO ORGASM
Now let’s say it together:
WE DO NOT HAVE TO EJACULATE TO ORGASM
Now, just say it to yourself – like 18 more times:
I DO NOT HAVE TO EJACULATE TO ORGASM
Keep going. This will change everything.
People sneeze and orgasm. People brush their teeth and orgasm. People think about things and orgasm. Orgasm is a mental process. Ejaculation happens in your penis. Two different body parts. Two different processes. They have happened to wire together through cultural heritage, but it is our responsibility to change that.
When you ejaculate, you loose ojas. That is practically the definition of unhealthy. When you orgasm, you get to enjoy a multi-dimensional experience with infinite possibility. That is healthy.
OK, SO HOW DO WE AVOID EJACULATION?
I’m going to break the news to you swift. You’ve been wiring ejaculation and orgasm in your brain your whole damn life. It’s going to be about as hard to kick that habit as it is for smokers to quit. But similarly, if you succeed, you will enjoy freedom and longevity (not to mention orgasms that you can not even come close to fathoming yet) that would not otherwise be attainable for you. The reward is most certainly worth it.
You need to learn how to work with your energy. When you do sexual things, you shake your pelvis around to build up energy in that area. Then when enough energy is built, you explode it out. Child’s play. What you could (and should) do is build that energy up in your pelvis and then – pay attention now – move the energy through your body. That is the key. Evacuate your dick asap long before an explosion is coming and channel it up. Put the energy first in your core, then in your heart (at which point it may go through your arms and finger tips. If you can, get it into your throat and your forehead (third eye). If you manage this, try not to pass out on your lover when you leave this galaxy. If you can manage this, you will be orgasming in your whole body. Each of your finger tips will be like the tip of your penis in orgasm. Fathom that. Imagine it. And try to make it happen.
Personally, when I accidentally ejaculate now, it feels like a full stop because a purely pelvic orgasm is pathetic in comparison to the full body orgasms I know I could be having.
SPECIFIC TIPS FOR AVOIDING EJACULATION
- Stopping trying to orgasm. The days are over that you can just thump mindlessly away until you orgasm. Now, you need to pull your energy up until an orgasm just happens upon you. And you are not going to orgasm every time. But you may find that an hour long orgasmless sex session is far better than a five minutes orgasming one. Eventually, with practice, orgasms sans ejaculation will become more and more common.
- Don’t eat or drink beforehand – like two hours at least. Food, liquid, and especially alcohol energy is heavy and magnetic. It will keep your energy in your pelvis will result in you ejaculating.
- Be careful around full moons. Your semen is water essence. Notice how the moon pulls waves up? That happens to you, a creature of 70% water and a scrotum full of liquid. Stay far off the edge when having sex the days after, during, and before a full moon or avoid sex all together.
- Stay off the edge. You’re going to need to talk to your partner about this if it’s a duo (or trio 😉 ) act. When you are having sex and get even close to close, STOP. And tell your partner to stop too. Literally don’t move a muscle until you have moved the energy out of your pelvis. You can do an Udiyana Bunda or just pull out and break for a minute to help you move the energy out of your pelvis. Yes, this will make sex seem sort of choppy at first. But you and your partner will soon find that it is very worth it if you can exponentially prolong your lovemaking and experience far superior orgasms.
- Use your focus. Energy flows where the mind goes. Your penis is getting more than enough attention so you don’t need to put any more focus on it. Yes, all of the sensations call your attention to be enjoyed. But you would be much better off feeling your heart space or inside your head or if you are particularly talented feel through your partner. It is possible and one of the most intimate things you can do. Your energy will flow there and keep the channel of energy running through you rather than building in your penis. Trust me until you try it. An orgasm in your heart is far better than one in your penis.
- Do yoga. Yoga gives you so much perception and control over your internal energy. You will absolutely find this easier if you are also doing yoga regularly.
- Foster determination long before the sex begins. Have the idea that you’ll be having sex in the next 24 hours (including masturbating). Tell yourself now that when you do, you won’t ejaculate. And before the sex begins, reaffirm that intention. If you try to set the intention when your pelvis is full of energy and you feel an ejaculation approaching, you are probably to late. Try still if you can, but predetermination goes a long way.
- Keep trying. Even after practicing this for nearly a year, I still ejaculate far more often than I would like. But when I do, it is often after several non-ejaculatory orgasms and at least an hour of sexual activity. My biggest mistake is getting too confident about my proximity to the edge and letting myself get to the “point-of-no-return” after 10 or so times of coming off the edge. Point being, even though I fail, the successes make it worth it. And much of the time I do completely succeed in not ejaculating and for those times my ojas stays in me to work for me.
IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO AFTER NON-EJACULATORY SEX
This is important. With ejaculatory sex, you have spent yourself. There is nothing more to do but PTFO and let your body rest while it attempts to replenish traces of something that has just been permanently lost. But with non-ejaculatory sex you still have that energy inside of you. Where that energy is is very important. Where energy resides in your body determines the state of your consciousness. Alright, read that again:
WHERE ENERGY RESIDES IN YOUR BODY DETERMINES THE STATE OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS.
That is a whole other rather complex, but truly fascinating, conversation that I’m not going into right now. Search “chakras” to get the gist of it. If you leave your energy in your pelvis, expect to find yourself lazy, prone to drama, addiction, jealousy, the desire to eat unnecessarily. The list goes on, but it’s mostly negative. You will also remain horny. But after an hour of sex, horniness is a pain (literally) because your penis will be so sore.
Bring that energy up to your core for motivation, to your heart for love, to your throat for refinement and high creativity, to your forehead for focus and clarity, or to your crown for a spiritual feeling of interconnectedness. Pick your feeling and send your energy there. How do you do that? Inversions.
Get upside. Do a handstand or a shoulder stand, or just bend over and touch your toes (or at least try to). Gravity will do the work for you. Just try it and you will feel it. There is no perfect time (at least 10 minutes ideally though). Just feel yourself and once the energy is high, you’re good. It is definitely best to do proper yoga poses in this case. Eventually I intend on making demo videos for the postures, but for now, here is a list of them for you to teach yourself using the handy internet.
- Uddiyana Bunda – technically not an inversion, but still the most payback for your effort. This one is an absolute must.
- More are coming in the next few days but in the meantime, you can Google Tantric Yoga Poses
Hope this blows your mind and changes your life <3
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